Rocky Mountain Oysters On the Half Shell

Recipe By : Texas on the Halfshell ISBN: 0-385-17904-9

2 pounds bull testicles*
1 cup flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
1 cup red wine
salt
black pepper
garlic powder
Louisiana Hot Sauce
cooking oil**

*aka: calf fries, Rocky Mountain Oysters (sheep or turkey testicles may be used also)

** pure hog lard is the best, but a mixture of 60% peanut oil and 40% vegetable oil will do

With a very sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each "oyster." Remove the skin. Set "oysters" into a pan with enough salt water to cover them for one hour (this takes out some of the blood). Drain. Transfer "oysters" to large pot. Add enough water to float "oysters" and a generous tablespoon of vinegar. Parboil, drain and rinse. Let cool and slice each "oyster" into 1/4 inch thick ovals. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of sliced "oyster" to taste.

Mix flour, cornmeal and some garlic powder to taste in a bowl. Roll each "oyster" slice into this dry mixture. Dip into milk. Dip into dry mixture. Dip into wine quicky (you may repeat the procedure if a thicker crust is desired). Place each "oyster" into hot cooking oil.

Add Louisiana Hot Sauce to cooking oil (go wild with it, buy watch out for repercussions -- hot splashes). Cook until golden brown or tender, and remove with a wire mesh strainer (the longer they cook, the tougher they get).

Serve in one of those cardboard beer cartons that four six packs come in, layered with paper towels. Eat 'em, don't wait for nothin'! Chase with beer.

Variations include serving cooked "oysters" on a real oyster half shell with a sprig of parsley and a few drops of lemon juice.

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